So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I want a musical about memes.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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