you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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