he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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