Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
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