i don't like sucking hair
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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