I wish I could punch you in the face.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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