something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
