Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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