i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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