That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Can I color on your dick again?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
