We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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