You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
