If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize