Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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