i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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