Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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