I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
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He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
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Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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