We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize