First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
