HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize