Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You may now shotgun with the bride
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
