my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
