Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
