Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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