a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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