somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
