Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
