My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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