Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
