Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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