Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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