I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I have post one night stand depression
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