I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
