It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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