Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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