you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize