Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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