New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize