Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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