Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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