She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize