we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
