Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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