dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
