i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
