she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
