we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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