WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
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His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
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I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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