VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
