summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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