he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Terrible idea I love it
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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