Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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