Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
