if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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