I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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