Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
