I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize