hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
