I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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