didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
did i walk over a car last night?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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